BY AMOS BAYNES

STAFF WRITER



1947. Northwest shores of the Dead Sea. It is here and now that the documents commonly known as the Dead Sea Scrolls are found.

2004. The classroom of an RCHS teacher who, to protect his person, will be referred to only as “The Chosen One.” An alleged prophet for a new age has been found in a former RCHS student. This enigmatic prophet is known simply as “Deej.”

This writer had the opportunity to sit down with The Chosen One to learn the ways of Deej.



Interviewer: Who is Deej?

The Chosen One: The question is not necessarily who Deej is, but what Deej is.

Int: Could you elaborate on that?

CO: Sure. Deej is The TRUTH! Not unlike other worldviews/religions or what have you, Deejism is based on a real person. And although I have not personally met Deej, I feel like I have a personal relationship with him. Jerry Douglas Isley a.k.a. D.J. Isley a.k.a. Deej certainly exists in reality, and it has been revealed unto me that he is The TRUTH!

Int: How was it revealed unto you and by whom?

CO: A certain group of RCHS students who are known disciples of Deej shared the truth with me and I, too, became enlightened. Now I know that I am his chosen ambassador of The TRUTH! I heard amazing stories and teachings, and thus came to believe. I now receive revelations from Deej almost daily.

Int: What is your favorite Deej story? And, if you would, please share with us some of his revelations.

CO: When I heard the amazing story about Deej’s baseball career here at RCHS, I was convinced. I also enjoyed the game in my youth. Anyway, I was told that Deej tried out for the RCHS baseball team in a pair of jeans! When I heard this news, I somehow knew that he must be the TRUTH! And when he was cut from the team, he wasn’t upset. He said, “You want the TRUTH? You can’t handle the TRUTH!”

Int: And the revelations?

CO: One of my favorites is: “Deej is The TRUTH, and The TRUTH will make you free, but lies will enslave you forever.” Just ponder that for a moment, “lies will enslave you forever.” If you tell lies, you have to maintain them so that others aren’t hurt. Many say that the truth hurts. On the contrary, Deej is The TRUTH! The TRUTH is freedom, and freedom doesn’t hurt. Freedom is uplifting!

Int: Thank you for your time.

CO: You are quite welcome.

Certainly this amazing news will have some readers rethinking their lives, as well as the very meaning of their existence. Unfortunately, the current social climate does not allow this writer to reveal the names of The Chosen One or Deej’s disciples. The teachings imparted in the Book of Deej may be the only source of Deej’s wisdom for some time. Hopefully he will return to us soon. But until then, the following revelations from the Book must suffice.

“Deej is the yellow brick road of TRUTH. So follow follow follow follow follow the yellow brick road.”

“You will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever get on my level.”

“If The TRUTH did not exist, then neither would I. Am I not standing here before you?”