Big brother: a teenager’s natural nemesis. The U.S. government has been installing cameras on street corners in big cities for years. Now, teens have more than just the government to worry about. Monitoring technology is no longer only for the government. Parents can now pick up an array of different products and software that allow them to monitor everything from cable TV to internet usage.

According to some parents, the World Wide Web is a very DANGEROUS place. The idea of their kids browsing forums or maybe accidentally viewing a risqué ad makes them want to blow a fuse. Luckily for them, almost all internet browsers come standard with parental controls that allow the blocking of any website.

If that doesn’t seem enough for your parents, they can download a range of products that can track your internet history, log your time spent on the internet, and record every single keystroke that you make. In fact, some programs such as the “Content Scanner” from www.contentpurity.com claim to have “Adult Image Detection”, which assesses images by skin tone levels.

This makes me want to roll my eyes until they fall out. Parents, if you basically failed at raising your own kids, and can’t trust them on the internet, just don’t provide internet at all. You’d save yourself a lot of hassle and avoid a lot of fights with your kids.

Even if you don’t have an internet connection, you’re still not safe from big brother. Other computer products can capture hundreds of screenshots of your computer every hour. All someone has to do is look through the data and they receive a chronologically sorted slideshow of your computer use. Although the computer monitoring programs have been around for a while, more products with parental controls are being unveiled.

Now, some cell phones are coming stock with GPS navigators. Most teens think, “Cool. Now I can get easy directions.” Although that is a plus side of the GPS system, some teenagers don’t realize what else it can do. Cell phone companies include a number of tracking products in their GPS cell phones now. So, your cell phone tells you, along with your parents, where you are.

If you’ve got one of these phones, you can probably expect a phone call from your parents asking why you were back late from lunch. This technology is available to just about anyone. Even if your phone didn’t come standard with the GPS system, your parents can perform some tiny tweaks to your phone and receive the same information.

Some parents claim that the computer tracking systems and GPS navigators are to keep their children safe. I can understand how each one of those products could be used for safety reasons. However, I do NOT understand how putting limits on your cable television is protecting your children. As if cable TV wasn’t already censored enough, now parents can stop you from watching anything from Grey’s Anatomy to Rugrats. (Something tells me that if your parents block Rugrats, all the other programs are probably blocked, too.)

Cable companies rate each program they televise. Using these ratings, your parents can block certain TV shows. Standard cable television already censors most bad language. If parents can’t trust their kids to hear the word “ass”, there is something seriously wrong (either with the kid or the parents).

So, my question is, can it get any worse? What’s next? Maybe it’ll be parental cameras in your room. Or maybe they’ll insert a computer chip in your brain that gives them updates every two minutes on where you are, what you’re doing, and a log of what you’ve thought. Oops, hold on, my mom is calling.