For Sarah Palin, it’s finally time to step up to the plate. I say finally because, let’s not kid ourselves; she had a worse chance of getting in the presidential ballgame than Brennan Bechard does getting into a KU basketball game (hint: he doesn’t play). But Sarah Palin finally gets to fill the presidential shoes as she stands on the eve of Alaska’s greatest catastrophe since Ted Stevens: a volcanic eruption.

            That’s right; Mount Redoubt is on the verge of blowing its top, and the 14 Alaskans who inhabit that area are in a severe state of panic. Coming from someone who’s seen Dante’s Peak three or four times, I just thank God the inhabitants of rural Alaska have a Maverick like Caribou Barbie to protect them.

            You see, I feel kind of bad that Sarah Palin got pushed out of the limelight. If it hadn’t been for her running mate, dysfunctional family, cultural ignorance and stances on every single policy, she would’ve had that election in the bag! But I’m pretty sure that if she acts on this national disaster with care and swiftness, she’ll be right back in the game.

Don’t believe me? Let’s think about this logically for a second: do you remember Puff Daddy (or Puffy, Diddy, P. Diddy – whatever he calls himself now)? When he was riding Biggie’s coattails to fame and stardom, and Bigs got shot, did Puffy fall off? Yes…bad example.

            But listen: whether Puffy is talented or not isn’t my point (another hint: it’s the second one). My point is that it’s time for Sarah Palin’s second coming; just like Jesus’ second coming – only nobody’s excited about this one.

            So what is Sarah going to do in order to tackle this disaster? Well…she’s too busy shooting bears out of a helicopter to draft a coherent evacuation plan for Redoubt’s 14 residents. But I mean she’s still got something on G.W. during Katrina, in that she’s being productive in some way, shape or form. Afterall, who likes bears? No – besides Timothy Treadwell? Exactly.

            In fact, I think Palin’s right; let’s just not worry about volcanic eruptions right now – she’s busy hunting, I’m busy with Encore and we all know Obama will take care of it like he will all of our other miniscule problems that don’t deserve federal funding (note to self: always have a liberal safety net).