It was anxiety and desperation that drove 16-year-old Elaine B. to the abortion clinic that distant summer of 1979. Predetermining her parents' disapporval, the decision to abort her child was made in secret. "I had been against abortion my entire life," recalls 44-year-old Elaine. "But when you happen to be put into the situation, your ideals change entirely."

Unprepared and frightened, Elaine and two close friends scraped up the necessary amount of money to pay for the procedure. "When they left me at the clinic to gather the money, I had several hours to collect my thoughts. I decided I couldn't go through with it. I felt so guilty."

After reaching this conclusion, the courageous teenager realized that she would fight without the support of both her boyfriend and parents. She informed both parents that same day. Unfortunately, the results were expected.

Elaine was entrapped in a grungy, depressing home for unwed mothers. She was plagued with feelings of guilt and shame enforced by her parents. She was alone. The very thing she both resented and loved growing inside of her was not even her own. Elaine was given no option but to give up her child for adoption.

Forced into what is known as a closed adoption, Elaine was restricted against holding her own daughter nine months later. The name she chose for her baby, Sarah (after the Fleetwood Mac song) was altered to Amanda by her adoptive parents. She would not be permitted to contact her until the child turned 18.

"Open adoption was not allowed back then," Elaine states. "It is a less emotionally destructive alternative for everyone, in my opinion. It felt very secretive and restricting to give up my child without any rights as a mother. In closed adoptions, the birth mother is made to feel ashamed."

Amanda's 18th birthday arrived in April of 1998. Elaine had pushed past circumstances far behind her by then, and was raising two daughters of her own. However, the contact that was made by her third was a long anticipated relief. "I was absolutely thrilled," she remembers.

That following year, Elaine and her two daughters crossed four states to visit Amanda. They learned that Amanda was studying at Temple University to become an actress. Her skin was painted with various tattoos and iced with piercings much to the awe of her impressionable long-lost little sister. Yet when she smiled, her features lit, and she struck reminiscence in Elaine of herself. Her daughter felt like her own again; or perhaps for the first time.

"There are a lot more resources available now," Elaine suggests to teens suffering with the same dilemma. "Find a trustworthy counselor or doctor who can get you in touch with an organization. Even if your parents throw you out, there are many places you can go that have improved greatly through the years. You are not alone."