Posted: 01/19/07


In today’s world, apologizing seems to be the least important thing on everyone’s minds.

This isn’t the way it should be, in my opinion, because saying sorry is one of the most important mannerisms we learn as babies.

Perhaps the reluctance to apologize begins when we are toddlers.

Our moms, dads or babysitters would tell us to say we’re sorry, but we didn’t believe that we had anything to feel sorry for.

Since we were only young at the time, we had to listen to the person that was in charge of us so we didn’t get punished.

But now we’re older. We’ve matured in so many ways.

So, why do we not want to apologize to any one?

It doesn’t seem to matter if it was for something we did or something we didn’t do.

If we do something wrong or bad, we don’t want to apologize because that means we are guilty.

Sometimes we don’t apologize because we don’t believe what we did was wrong.

We will admit to doing it, but will not admit that it shouldn’t have been done.

However, sometimes we may admit and apologize for things that we didn’t even do.

Why is that?

Perhaps the art of apologizing is not there for the others comfort, but more for our own.

Does it make people feel better knowing that they’ve admitted to doing or saying something that they haven’t done? I think so.

I think it puts us at ease because we would rather have ourselves in trouble than see our friends get in trouble.

Also, if no one is admitting to doing whatever was done, sometimes it’s easier for us to just say we did it.

Instead of every one getting yelled at for something that only one person did and will not admit to doing; we normally feel it is easier for ourselves to just be in trouble for doing it.

So what’s wrong with apologizing?

I think the meaning of apologizing has changed from what it used to be.

I don’t think the value of an apology can really be trusted any more. Then again, the value of not having an apology shouldn’t be trusted either.

Just because one person says they did something and apologize, doesn’t mean that they did the infraction.

On the other hand, just because somebody doesn’t apologize doesn’t mean that they are guilty or not guilty either.

I believe that instead of waiting for, or expecting, an apology we should start turning to our instincts and looking at the facts.

Why should we believe that Billy stole the cookie from the cookie jar when we know that Billy wasn’t even in the kitchen? Just because Billy said he stole it and apologized doesn’t mean he actually did.

But who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?

It could be Sally, who everyone knows was in the kitchen at the time of the cookie-theft.

Sally says it wasn’t her, but maybe in our hearts we all know it was her and she just doesn’t want to feel the shame of admitting it.

Maybe we can start to change things around.

My hope is that some day, apologizing will actually be meaningful again and will actually mean that people are sorry for their actions.