The remake of the 1973 film “The Wicker Man,” released Sept. 1, is shockingly stupid. Previews show Edward Malus (Nicolas Cage) taking a horrifying run through the forest as he searches for a missing little girl. In reality, it is an old bald guy wearing a bear suit ridiculously running through the forest with feminist women wearing fur headdresses chasing after him.

In the beginning, Edward is a police officer who tries to save the little girl from a car crash. Almost as if he were an obsessive-compulsive mother, the image of the girl runs through his mind over and over again uselessly. The little girl is gone. So what?

Edward Malus gets a letter from his ex-fiancé, Willow (Kate Beahan), asking him to help her find her missing daughter, Rowan (Erika-Shaye Gair). He ends up in a place called Summers Isle, an island ran by a psychotic feminist cult that believes man’s only purpose is breeding. As though men are brain dead aliens none speak and are too frightened to refuse a request from any woman. How much fun can that be?

Being a stranger to this “new world,” Edward is not accustomed to the dangerously bizarre rituals that occur. As if prancing through cornfields is not awkward enough he also has to endure psychotic behavior.

The deeper Edward investigates, the more idiotic questions are left unanswered and the more unstable his already confused mind gets.

Before coming to the island Edward already had serious mental issues. In the past he was unable to save a little girl from a car crash, who coincidentally resembles Rowan, who he is currently looking for. Not being able to this information causes Edward to lose his temper.

Edward goes on a wild goose chase, searching house after house for any sign of the missing girl. He gets hysterical, yelling violently. Later he hits a rather large, manly woman, which I found quiet funny. This is definitely one of the most entertaining scenes of the film.

He then goes on to steal the large, manly woman’s bear suite in attempt to become a part of the “dangerous” ritual-taking place in the cornfield.

This film should have never been put into theaters! And those that allowed it to be produced should be slapped in the face. With the way this movie ended I felt like crying due to the loss of my precious $6.25 and a couple brain cells along with it.