Dear Cenia,

I’m talking to this guy whose ex-girlfriend can’t seem to get over him even though she ended the relationship and it’s been over for a while. He is over her but I still don’t know how to deal with it.

Trust your man. If he doesn’t care for his ex, then it shouldn’t really matter what her feelings are for him. He’s with you, not her, which counts for a lot. If it really bothers you that much, then you should talk to your boyfriend and tell him that she is making you feel uncomfortable. Let him take care of the rest. If you trust him and you know he is really into you, the ex factor shouldn’t matter.

Dear Cenia,

My good friend wants to follow her boyfriend to college next year, but I don’t think the relationship is a good thing. What can I do to change her mind?

You can’t change her mind, but you can make her think. Ask her different questions and make sure that she is aware of the big decision she is making. Students should go to college to better their future, not to better a relationship. Make her realize that. Tell her to find out if the school has the major she would want and so on. As far as the relationship goes, if she’s happy, she’s happy. End of story. There’s nothing you can do to change that. If you try and tell her your thoughts on the relationship, she just might get angry at you, even though you are just trying to help. Don’t try and convince her not to go because of her boyfriend. Convince her because of her future.

Dear Cenia,

I have this friend who I have known for like 10 years. We both discovered that we have feelings for each other. But he doesn’t want to be with me because he doesn’t want to mess up the friendship we have for each other now. I really want to be with him. What should I do?

Why should a relationship automatically ruin a friendship? Aren’t we told that we should learn to be friends with our partner and not just be lovers to have a long lasting relationship? If you two have had feelings for each other for this long, a relationship can never be a bad thing. You’ve been friends for such a long time; you must really understand each other and get along. You have already built a solid friendship, and if you two really care for each other I don’t see why dating each other would be a problem. And suppose you do break up, if the friendship bond is really that strong, then you can remain friends afterwards. Staying friends after a break up is something that rarely happens. I know, but trust me, you can if you try. Tell him how you feel and if he doesn’t change his mind, you can’t do anything about it. If you like him so much that all you want is a relationship, then you need to make a decision. Either be friends with him without the relationship, or don’t be friends with him without the relationship. Which is more important to you? Having him in your life as a friend or not having him in your life at all?