When I walked down the halls of Mays, I wore a big smile on my face; however, that was just my mask. My real emotions were hidden away from the people around me because I felt that they were a sign of weakness. I was your basic basket-case, a normal stressed-out teenager. The thing that made me different was the way I dealt with what I felt. I was a cutter.

I began to cut when I was 11.

I believe that what triggered my cutting was the abuse that I had suffered at a younger age. I was not able to forget about it, and I did not have anyone to talk to about what I felt.

When I'd cut myself, I'd have a lot of different emotions going through my mind. The first time I cut, I felt sad, alone and so confused. I felt as if I was dead or stuck in some weird movie. I didn't know how to get rid of all the feelings I had. I was so angry that I threw a hair brush at my mirror. Little pieces of glass fell all over my room's floor. I bent over to pick up the glass and, all of the sudden, this feeling, hard to describe, came over me.

I couldn't understand why this sharp piece of glass looked so kind. Without thinking, I cut one straight line into my arm. I paused... it felt so right that I did it again and again and again. When I finally stopped, I was calm. I wasn't crying anymore. I was numbed to everything, especially to the blood that was running down my arm. For some odd reason, the pain in my arm made me forget my problems, and I felt better.

No one ever knew about my cutting. I was very good at hiding it. I would always wear long sleeves, even in summer. I wouldn't let people touch me because if they grabbed my arms, they would hurt.

Cutting is only one of many ways to self-injure . Self-injury or self-harm is deliberately hurting one's self without suicidal intent. People who self-harm are often mistaken as suicidal, but the majority of times that is inaccurate. Some scholars believe this behavior is aimed at relieving unbearable emotions. Self-injury can be triggered by things like trauma, abuse (sexual or emotional), eating disorders, low self-esteem or perfectionism. Like me, many self-injurers try to hide their scars.

Worldwide, self-harm is very common among young people. There are many different treatments to help someone stop this behavior. If the self-harm is linked to depression, the self-harmer may be asked to take antidepressants. There are also treatments that teach avoidance, which is meant to keep the self-harmer occupied. Techniques also exist to replace the act of self harm with safer methods. I was told by my psychologist to pop my wrist with a rubber band whenever I felt like cutting; it helped me to do it less. The best thing someone can do to stop self harm is to TALK TO SOMEONE! Keeping these bad feelings bottled up won't help.

It is hard to get an accurate percentage for people who self-harm because self-harmers conceal their injuries. The following records come for three sources: hospital admissions, general population surveys and psychiatric samples.

Because self-harm has become so common, there have been efforts to raise self-harm awareness, an example being Self-injury Awareness Day (March 1). There are also Foundations like ``To Write Love On Her Arm,'' which encourages people to be open about their self harm and get help.

There are help lines that you can call to talk to someone. I would always call 1-800-suicide or the Nine Line (1-800-999-9999). If you or someone you know self harms, TELL SOMEONE. Get help! The best thing to do is to talk to someone, it sure helped me.