December 21, another day out of the 364 days we live out. But this time we are all supposed to die because the Mayans, an ancient civilization that lived thousands of years ago, had a calendar that suddenly stopped.
The world must end because a calendar suddenly stopped, how smart. It has to be a joke; there is clearly a more reasonable explanation to this. Many things could have gone wrong when they tried interpreting the calendar. For one they could have completely misread it, the Mayans use something called ‘long years’ and it’s one of three different ways they used to tell the date.
In reality it’s much more likely that nothing will happen than something catastrophic. People will continue to say the world will end, and if the world ends (and that is a big if), congratulations! You predicted the end of the world and your prize is knowing you were right. But do you really want to go down in history as the idiot who predicted the end of humanity? Wait, you can’t because no one will be around to remember.
Remember 2012, that movie that shows how we are all going to die? California starts to tumble into the see, the east coast is covered in a type of ash and the continents start to shift. Yeah, that won’t happen (at least not this year). Not even close, I can practically see the day now, the sun will come up in the east, it’s going to be cold, like that time of year always is, maybe some clouds and some sun, but the sun will set in the west, like always. Just like it has on every other day we were supposed to die.
That’s right people, this isn’t the first time we are all supposed to die. Last year, May 21, 2011, was also supposed to be our doom, but it did not happen. We were also supposed to die in 2000 (Y2K, computer failure and we’d be back in the Stone Age), and on July 6, 2006 (6/6/06), and years before many of us were even born. I really do mean for years, people have been predicting our doom since 2800 BC so obviously nothing is actually going happen unless it did and we are all just ghosts who don’t know we died and are continuing to live out our miserable lives until we “die.”
Oh, and there’s something I predict will happen, a baby boom in 2013! The baby boom will occur because some people, who are going to say something along the lines of, ‘We shouldn’t use protection, because the world’s gonna end anyway,’ yeah, no don’t listen to someone who tells you that. Oh and for the next school year, I’m pretty sure you’re going to hear a lot of idiots saying things like, ‘I’m not gonna do any of my work. What’s the point when we’re all gonna die anyway.” Yeah, don’t listen to the doomsday prophets when it comes to life planning.
This year the world will not end because the Mayans or any other “prophet” says it will. Life is for living, not for counting the days until the “end”, so make the most of it. But if the world does end, well congratulations you were right, unfortunately.