/Portals/2/logos/__TFMF_fdsa4k55mbzd0x55gesj3lqk_b8025da3-920b-4442-9a74-a81c9ea63d87_0___Selected.jpg en-us Copyright 2008 - All Rights Reserved. Tue, 18 Jun 2013 06:31:00 GMT 15 By Brittney Itima
Get ready boyfriends! Friday, Twilight Saga’s Breaking Dawn is coming out and your girlfriend is going to try and get you to go to this movie. Be afraid, be very afraid. You know nothing about Twilight – what’s worse is you don’t want to know! This movie will stay in theatres for weeks, so there’s only so much ducking and dodging you can do. So here are some survival tips for you to come out of this with your manhood intact. Be prepared: Know what Twilight is. I mean actually wiki the Twilight series because chances are you’re mindlessly hating on it. I’m sorry: Once she gets you into the movie theatre, stop fighting. 1. You either watch the movie in silence, 2. Complain and ruin it for the both of you, 3. Or sleep through it. (number 2 and 3 are not real options.) Don’t badmouth Twilight once you leave out of the car. Once you leave the car, you are in enemy territory and you will be beaten for your insolence. (not really) Get out of the way of eager fans, they will trample you to get into the movie first. Bring your cell phone: I know It’s horrible theatre etiquette, but dim the lights and text underneath your jacket. Have a staring contest with other tortured boyfriends. There are sure to be several souls desperate for a reprieve. Exercise your imagination: If you’re known for your ability to daydream, use that to your advantage. Dream you’re at the dentist getting your teeth cleaned. Eat a lot. Eat so much, you get a “stomach ache” and, unfortunately, have to spend the movie in the restroom Drink a lot, so much that you use the restroom every 15 minutes. You’ll be bothering everyone else (including your soon to be angry girlfriend) but at least you don’t have to watch the movie. Bring tissues: Your girlfriend is probably going to cry. If you have tissues on hand, you’ll seem caring and get major boyfriend points. And lastly, remember Inglorious Basterds . (Just kidding.) Remember it’s just a movie and no matter how much you hate it, it will be over soon; and any girl you’re willing to watch Breaking Dawn for is worth keeping around. So think of this as a relationship builder. Since there might not be any basketball this year, you’re going to be spending a lot of time with your girlfriend. ]]> Thu, 17 Nov 2011 17:15:24 GMT