en-us Copyright 2008 - All Rights Reserved. Sat, 25 May 2013 21:25:35 GMT 15 By Andrew Duggan, German teacher
Do you attempt in vain to flee before a Friday assembly? Do you sit disengaged and bored on the hard bleachers just waiting for an assembly to end? Do you rudely talk through entire assemblies? Do you ever find yourself scrambling for that copy of the schedule in your backpack while slurping down the last of your Italian soda at Boyd’s, knowing Herr Duggan will chew you out if you try to slip into third period five minutes too late? Maybe not many of you are familiar with these scenarios; perhaps you simply love the “education” you receive while a giant red bird runs around the basketball court or students gyrate on the floor in an attempt to assert their new-found sexuality. Yet I believe it is time to bid adieu to a tradition that has long poisoned the youth of America: the Spirit Assembly. Assemblies have no pedagogical merit, whatsoever. In fact, such gatherings are much worse than a mere waste of time. They are counterproductive to the goal of teaching young people how to become creative, independent thinkers. Should we in the Lincoln community really be so surprised when our students vandalize “rival” schools with LHS logos and our school colors? These are the values we teach: competition, rivalry, and thoughtless submission to the will of the group. What we call “school spirit” is not so terribly far removed from nationalism or blind religious faith, in which one adheres to his own group and despises his enemies not on account of legitimate political differences, but simply because those enemies represent otherness. The pressure to conform would not bother me nearly so much if these assemblies were optional. Upon asking why spirit assemblies are mandatory, I have been told that optional assemblies do not count as “instructional time,” and we need to count them as such to fulfill our seat time obligations for the state of Oregon. There is nothing about a spirit assembly that even remotely resembles an effective use of instructional time, and I am sure most taxpayers would agree. Perhaps it is time to reconsider how we define this term. Three years ago I sat on what became known as the “FLEX” committee in an effort to reinstate tutorial time in our daily schedule. The primary argument against providing any sort of tutorial was that such a program could not count as instructional time due to the fact that students were not required to attend. Assemblies, however, are compulsory. Does anybody else see faulty logic in the support of assemblies as required instructional time? Naturally, I am fully aware that my arguments will not be taken seriously in a conservative society that supports the status quo with arguments such as “it’s tradition” and “we have always done it this way.” Therefore, I suggest a compromise in which faculty members may elect to make their rooms available as silent study halls for students who do not wish to attend assemblies. All students must either go to the assembly or one of the designated study rooms. Through the compromise, those who wish to engage in the time-honored tradition of the spirit assembly may do so, yet students and faculty who prefer not to have their intelligence insulted by this arcane institution may make more effective use of their time. Everybody wins! Go Cards! Andrew Duggan, German teacher ]]> Fri, 28 Apr 2006 22:06:00 GMT