Nights I Can't Sleep

Tue, 29 May 2012 19:46:45 GMT

By Hannah Escobedo

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Blogger Hannah Escobedo reflects on that all-too-common teen experience of not being able to sleep.

11:30 p.m. I can’t. No matter how much I toss and turn, my eyes can’t seem to close. I stare at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck on my ceiling and count to numbers beyond my comprehension, yet sleep does not take me away. I become irritated with myself as I grow restless. I am stuck in reality; when all I want to do is escape to my dreams. 1 a.m. My eyes are closed, but I am still awake. I think. Coldplay hums softly from my I-Pod. My mind races from one thought to another; faster than The Speed of Sound. The face of someone I care about appears in my thoughts and I smile to myself. I love them all too much; tears well up behind my shut eyelids. They glide down the sides of my face and soak into the soft fabric of my pillow. I will miss the person that I care about so much when I leave. They are my everything, but in a matter of time I will be close to nothing. But I can’t think about this now; I need to try to sleep. I breathe in softly and attempt to slide into mindlessness. 3:30 a.m. I cannot differentiate between consciousness and unconsciousness. Everything I imagine is soft and hazy. The lights flicker on and off in my head, while my thoughts seem to be submerged in water. I want to move my body, stretch out my arms and legs, but nothing happens. I can’t feel the tips of my fingers nor the bottom of my toes. All I can do is breathe in and out slowly. Suddenly, I think of an alarming thought- but then it vanishes, like Jello sliding off a hot car hood. I am content again… 5:30 a.m. Not sure if I slept or not, I groggily get out of bed and stumble downstairs. I make myself hot tea in the kitchen and sit on the counter. I don’t understand why nights like last night happen so randomly. But, whatever. YOLO, I guess.

Bulldog Times

Nights I Can't Sleep